Ugh. Rules!

So this past weekend, on Saturday evening to be precise- tragedy struck in Kampala town (I think it was Mukono actually). A boat carrying about 120 passengers capsized along The Victoria and many lives were lost, some people still unaccounted for (it is Monday as I write this) while a number of lucky people made it out alive. I am completely saddened by this incident, especially since majority of the lives lost were young people (under the age of 35). I have friends who lost friends on that boat also and so I feel a sense of loss because people close to me are grieving and no one ever wants to see a friend hurting.

 

I was reflecting on this whole incident the whole of yesterday and a number of things came to my mind. The first thing is that life is short and we must learn to value the people we have in our lives enough to make peace with situations. Never allow  your self to end a conversation, to go to sleep, or to simply part ways with someone when you’re mad at each other. Clear the air, voice your concerns and just let everything off your chest because you never really know when the last time will be. The second thing is to never ever give your self the illusion of time. So many times we shelve our dreams or put them on hold for a later time because we’re simply afraid to start or waiting for “the right time”. The sad and brutal truth of the matter is, however, that we never really know how much time we have so we had better start that thing like yesterday. There’s no better time than the present (although I just made reference to the past lol). Pick that dream up off the shelf, dust it off and begin.

 

Anyway, those were just a few things that popped into my head that I thought I might share as well but aren’t actually the main point of what I came here to write about today. One of the bigger reflections that came to my mind from these unfortunate events is the importance of rules and regulations and more importantly- the importance of following these pre-set rules. From what I gather (and I am not writing as a news professional or a witness-just thought I’d put that out there) the boat was overloaded and from the pictures I saw the life jackets were not worn for the entire duration of the boat ride. I saw pictures from the start of the trip where almost everyone was clad in their bright orange life jackets and as the journey went on they slowly started coming off. Here’s the thing that occurred to me about this whole thing. As Ugandans first of all, we have this terrible habit of not wanting to follow rules and thinking we’re above the law (I’m not excluding myself from this equation, we all have our moments). We always prefer to do things at our convenience not considering whether it’s lawful or not (it might just be a human thing actually, let’s not castigate Uganda). We like to have a good time and live our lives to the fullest without taking into consideration what the possible consequences of our actions could be. Yeah, I know, where’s the issue with all that? Well, here’s the thing. Usually when people put rules and laws and whatever you want to call it in place, it’s because they have foreseen certain circumstances (which we may fail to see) and are taking preventative measures against the possible negative outcomes of these circumstances. A person or people usually have taken the time out to analyse a situation and look at all the positive and negative possibilities and protect whoever might be at stake from any tragedies. And then here come us stubborn beings just looking to have a good time and going ahead to completely ignore all the precautions just so we can “live our best lives”. I mean think about it- by the time someone came up with the capacity load for the boat, they had thought all these things through (or at least they should have) and knew that it would be a high risk factor to have beyond a certain number of people on the boat because of things we (humans) can’t completely control like the tides and proper balance. I’m not blaming the people on the boat for anything that happened, all I’m saying is that as people we need to start learning to take precautions more seriously and not look at them as deterrents to a good life or a good time.  Someone much wiser than us who actually had the time to, thought about everything beforehand and put measures in place to protect us. When we refuse to follow rules and regulations we choose to not protect our lives and the lives of the people dear to us. Just imagine if all the people on the boat had insisted on being the right number that was expected to board the boat and had all insisted on wearing life jackets (all the way through)- the chances of a tragedy this grave would have been far less. Think about it- really! Don’t trade a lifetime of fun and purpose for one quick thrill by not following safety precautions. That’s all I’m saying. Even the Bible exists to guard us and protect us against different battles and circumstances in our everyday life. I’m learning this now, more and more with time. I find that usually the times where things are going well in life are the times where I’m reading my Bible and actually following the counsel that it bears. And usually when I think I know what I’m doing and decide to do things according to my own will and feelings is usually when things end up going awry and ironically I end up agitated and unamused.

 

For the longest time I believed that “if it’s your day to die you can’t escape it, no matter what you do”. I’m not so sure I believe that anymore. Many a time it is the rules we don’t follow and the situations we get ourselves caught up in that land us in trouble actually. The Bible mentions that, “With a long life I will satisfy him And let him see My salvation”, meaning God’s promise to us is long life, of course going hand-in-hand with all His counsel for us. It also mentions that “If you walk in My ways, keeping My statutes and commandments, as your father David walked, then I will prolong your days”. Not that this is meant as a threat, but it goes back to the point I’m trying to explain -people much wiser than us foresee certain circumstances and protect us from them. And then in we come with all our stubbornness and excitement, do the complete opposite of what we’ve been asked to do, and then blame the world around us when things go wrong. Think about all the rules your parents set growing up and the trouble you landed in by choosing to go against their rules. I think you see my point now.

 

We need to learn to start heeding authorities and trusting their counsel if we want to protect ourselves from tragedies as much as possible. We can still have fun while following the rules. We can still live our best lives within certain confinements. (If anyone knew me a few years ago they wouldn’t believe that I am speaking these words. I still don’t believe myself sometimes lol, but yeah). I just thought I’d share some of the wisdom that came to me as I was reflecting on this tragedy. Have a blessed day as you read this and remember to do what is asked of you by authorities, it could save you a whole lot of trouble.

Resilience and Perseverance with Grace and Fortitude (A Tribute to My Grandmother)

Early last week I lost one of my Uncles from my father’s side of the family. As expected, there was a general gloomy and sombre mood in the air but there were also many feelings of gratitude and love as everyone looked back and reflected on his life. For me, it was probably one of the saddest yet most humbling and enlightening moments of my life. Now, before I get into this story further I think it’s important to note that by my grandmother I mean something of a grand aunt, but this is African culture really so that phrase is not in our vocabulary. (Actually that may have not been completely necessary for the purpose of this story but now you know something a little more than just the story tee hee.) Anyway, back to business, in his life, and even in his death my Uncle brought a lot of people together and taught an immeasurable number of lessons to every single individual that had the great pleasure of being around him. And the most striking thing about it all is that my Uncle barely ever spoke. And when I say that, I don’t mean it figuratively to express introversion of some sort. I mean it quite literally; that in all his 46 years of life, my Uncle never really had a formal form of verbal communication. You see, he sustained brain damage at birth and I guess that greatly affected his ability to speak as well as other things. I’m told that growing up he had excessive bounds of energy—so much so that he even once tore a door down. Yes, a whole door. All by himself! But as he grew older, age and medication slowly started to take a toll on him. Anyway, I feel like I’m getting ahead of myself here and completely missing the point. The point is about the lessons he taught people through his sinless, speechless life and the true expression of love and what it means to be loved that it has been and of course about the people closest to him and how they have all managed to come out stronger from this experience.

Dealing with a special needs child or a child with mental or physical disabilities can be quite difficult as you can imagine (or can you?). But I must really salute my grandparents (grand aunt and uncle really) for looking after him in the best possible way that they could and doing so with such grace and fortitude. I live right next to these grandparents of mine (I hope by now you’ve caught on and I don’t have to keep mentioning the whole grand aunt, grand uncle thing) and so I visit them kind of often (though probably not often enough, but I mean you know, sometimes life just gets in the way). Visiting them is always delightful and cheerful and they’re such fun people to be around generally. I always have a good chat infused with many a good laugh and they’re just generally a hoot (do millenials even use that word? Eww I’m old). Based on the testimonies and speeches that a number of different people gave at the vigils and funeral, they are actually pleasant characters everywhere they go. (I know that sounds obvious but there are some people who change faces and moods depending on where they are, so no it’s not.) Everyone gave their fair share of lessons they’d learnt from being around him for the time that they were and the lessons they’ve learnt from the people close to them. There were also a number of congratulatory remarks to the parents of the deceased- my grandparents (well, you know) thanking them for a job well done in looking after their child to his dying day.

Many of us in this world deal with difficult situations in different ways. But there are people who literally walk around looking like their problems (some even dress like them). And I can tell you that these people are most unpleasant to have to deal with. They make it seem like they are the only ones with problems or with problems worth worrying about. Truth is though, that we all have problems and our own silent battles that we’re dealing with and the strength actually lies in those who can handle them enough to not walk around showing everyone their woes. My grandparents are the perfect example of this- resilience and perseverance with grace and commendable fortitude (although really, all fortitude is commendable. I just wanted to sound funky and like I know a lot of English). To live 46 whole years looking after someone that cannot fend for themselves or even communicate what they might need is definitely quite the task! I really commend my grandparents so much. You must be wondering why I said ‘Tribute to my Grandmother’ and not ‘to my grandparents’ instead, in my title. Well, in most homes (at least here in Africa anyway) a woman is the one that is considered in charge of the home and the children (very traditional views I know, but in the generation my grandparents were raised, this rule applies). Both parents did the most they could to ensure that their beloved child never lacked but a mother’s love is really like no other. Nothing in this world could ever compare (well maybe God’s love but God’s not of this world, at least his love isn’t). A love so incomparable and almost completely unconditional (I’m back to talking about a mother’s love now, stay with me). That is the love of a mother and that is the love that she showed to all her 5 children. Aside from looking after a disabled child, there was also the tedious task of looking after fully functioning children through all the stages of their childhood; terrible twos, inquisitive tweens and the oh-so-dreadful teens. And to be able to raise children of substance and great moral standing. That is even nobler! I feel like it could have been easy to focus on one or the other but not both. Very easy! Either the focus could have been to focus on the disabled child and leave the able-bodied children to somehow raise themselves or she could have focused on the children that are easier to communicate with/to and neglected the poor little uncommunicative child. (It really is true what they say- that God gives you the grace to go through every tough situation you are faced with.) This was not the case however, she was able to look after all these children and groom them all well. Of course with the help of several other people (you know what they say– it takes a village…), all the while, never once showing on her face or in her actions that she was going through the burden of looking after an uncommunicative child. I feel like when I say ‘burden’ I make it sound like it was a terrible experience no one would ever want to relive but that’s not what I mean. Burden in the sense that it was difficult to go through and that it was of course not the most ideal situation.

While my grandmother was giving her speech I was even more amazed and humbled by her level of gratitude for his life, the life lessons she herself had learnt from him and the incredible strength she showed going through such a difficult time [the loss of the child, not his life]. One of the most important life lessons that she said she had learnt from looking after her Tim-Tim was gratitude. She learnt to thank God for all the little things and the big things alike. She thanked Him for water to be able to feed and wash him because there are so many people going through similar situations with their children that don’t even have the access to running water. She thanked Him for provision- that Timothy never lacked what he needed whether it was medication, a comfortable air mattress to sleep on or just pure love. Of course there was great need to be thankful for the fact that he never knew a bad care-taker; that all the people that ever looked after him loved him, fed and cleaned him well and really just looked after him in the best possible way that they could. Finding a reason (or even a couple) to be grateful through difficult circumstances is not the easiest thing to do and yet she did. The other thing that she was grateful for was for a husband that is such a family man and who was and continues to be very supportive. There are many stories in this country of families that are broken because a husband has decided to abandon his wife after her giving birth to a disabled child claiming generational curses on her part or that she has been bewitched or something crazy like that. Many of these “husbands” will even abandon the poor woman with all their other healthy children. My grandfather however, never once left and never even thought about it I’m sure. So all in all, in celebrating his life, there was a lot to be grateful for.
In the last decade or so of his life, my Uncle has been unfortunately falling sick quite often and as you can imagine from a person that can’t talk for themselves, one would only notice by the time the symptoms start to show which usually is a few days later. As a parent, seeing your child go through such pain and turmoil ever so frequently must be one of the highest forms of torture one can face as a parent. But to be able to go through this experience all the while still showing so much joy and happiness on your face (and not even pretentiously) is some sort of unsung heroism in my opinion.

So I guess if you’re going through a difficult situation I’m using this story to encourage you that you can get through it in the same way that my grandmother did- with grace and the utmost fortitude. You don’t have to walk around looking (or even dressing) like your problems. Every time you feel like you’re losing hope I want you to remember that this lady had to look after an ailing child for 46 whole years and she never once went around looking like her struggle. In fact, if ever you met her you’d probably think she was one of the happiest people in town with like zero problems. The next time you feel really agitated by a situation and you feel tempted to put your frustrations out on someone remember that there is someone out there who wore a smile on her face every day despite the struggles that she was dealing with at home.
My prayer for you today is that whenever you go through difficult situations (because it’s almost guaranteed that those will come) you will be able to go through them with as much grace and fortitude as my grandmother did hers (or even more).
Kaka Sheba- I salute you and admire you for your enduring spirit and unending gracefulness during very arduous times. I admire you, Jaja Matthew and Kaka Robina a lot more than I did before and all I ask in this life is that God gives me even half the strength he gave to you whenever storms may arise.

Do It For The Gram

Greetings greetings! It’s been quite some time. I hope you missed me as much as I missed blogging (well, and you ;)). I am here today to talk about a vice that’s eating away at our generation, slowly by slowly. I like to call this little vice ‘doing it for the gram’. Doing it refers to ‘stunting or showing off’ and the gram in this case is all of social media- Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, you name it! So basically I’m talking about the people that go out of their way to stunt for Social Media. And no I’m not talking about people that are constantly posting their achievements and giving you little snippets of their day. That’s totally alright. (Isn’t the whole point of social media sharing and interacting anyway?) I’m talking about the people that will go out of their way to live a lifestyle that isn’t really theirs just to impress people or look good on social media. The people using borrowed iPhones to snap their lavish night, eating expensive food at a fancy, five star restaurant followed by a massive turn up at the dopest club, popping bottles in the VIP section yet back at home they left a struggling half-inch piece of soap and a completely squeezed-out tube of toothpaste because their priorities are in making their life look good not making sure it actually is. People that don’t live according to their budget in the name of social media. When the parents give you pocket money for the week all you can think about is which place will look good on Snapchat and Instagram so you can spend your money there.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not opposed to eating out at fancy restaurants all the time (heck, if I had it my way I’d probably do it everyday). And I’m not complaining about the aspect of popping bottles often either. Live and let live. I’m all for people doing what makes them happy. But I mean if you can’t really afford it and you’re not doing anything in any way to build some sort of future for yourself is it really worth it? The people you’re showing off for on the gram are sitting in silence building a stable future for themselves. Just because someone doesn’t show you everything that they’re doing and doesn’t go flaunting it in your face, doesn’t mean they’re not doing anything for themselves. Silence speaks volumes sometimes. Remember that! What people don’t realise is that we’re still quite young. We’re at the age where we’re allowed to make countless mistakes and try all sorts of new things. This is the age to start building and setting up our future and it’s totally okay to be broke now. Trust me. No one’s going to judge you or mock you for being broke, chances are, everyone around you is probably facing the same or a very similar struggle. This is is the time to try and fail things; projects, businesses, jobs or ideas, until you find something that works for you. Don’t be afraid to try and most definitely do not be afraid to fail. It is a part of life. What matters is how you pick yourself up after the fall, not how you fall. Live simply now so you can live well in the future. That’s how I think it should be. Do your work in silence, set yourself up and I promise you your efforts will be rewarded in due time. You’d rather be broke now while you’re young and it’s expected from you rather than be struggling financially when you’re older. You don’t want to be that 50 year old living in your parents’ basement wondering how it all went wrong. Get up now and do something your future self will thank you for. Instead of showing people you’ve got it going for you when you don’t. Using your parents’ money to live the life all your followers dream of is not goals. Your parents money is not your money. I repeat, your parent’s accomplishments are not yours. You can totally be proud of them and appreciate them but don’t expect them to look after you for a life time. Adulthood means independence. It’s their obligation to care and look out for you but you can’t make it a life long obligation. There comes a time when the tables need to turn, the favour needs to be returned. Don’t make your parent’s support you financially for the rest of their lives. They also have other dreams for themselves and other responsibilities to take care of. If you can’t work hard for yourselves, do it for the people who looked after you and raised you- your parents, guardians, whoever. As a token of appreciation, as a sign of respect. Instead of living large now and struggling with money in the future, start something now. Invest, save up. Build yourself the great future you deserve. Because the truth is, most of the people you’re stuntin’ for on the gram don’t care if you’re actually doing things with your life or not, you’re only doing yourself an injustice. No one is going to slow down their life so you can catch up with them. So save yourself the misery and regret. Get up and do something more with yourself. If you’re out there living a fab life and showing off actual accomplishments, I salute you. I’ll be joining you soon. But if you’re out there stunting for the gram and not actually doing anything great for yourself, start now. We can’t always know for sure who’s actually stuntin’ and who’s showing us reality. At least not right now. But time will surely tell. I hope all the people popping bottles every night and traveling luxury every weekend will still be doing it in a few years; showing us daddy’s dollars and throwing money around like it ain’t a thing. We’re watching you closely, hoping, for the sake of your dignity that you succeed. But for now we shall continue to watch you stunting on the gram. It is entertaining after all.

International Women’s Day

As we get ready to celebrate Women’s day we must stop and ask ourselves why. Why a day has been set aside to lionise and celebrate women everywhere; why it is very important and why it is talked about and prepared and anticipated for- the world over. If you ask me I think that women are in fact not celebrated enough. There are a lot of strong and brilliant women out there working hard to break barriers in society and break many a stereo-type about women in various societies. I personally respect and admire the woman who goes out of her way to strive in a society where everyone says women can’t make it, where certain jobs are looked at as ‘only a man’s job’, where women are shunned upon or oppressed and expected to behave and/or dress a certain way. The woman who works hard to make a life of her own and doesn’t depend on a man or on any other person for their well-being or to get them through life. To a few this may seem like not such a big deal but I’m telling you now that it most definitely is. Most of us live in a society where the media portrays women a certain way and in so doing pressures or influences other women to act or dress a certain way because they think that that is what is ‘acceptable’ or ‘normal’ in society and have a longing to fit in. We live in a society where women are raised to do certain jobs and to leave others out because only men can handle them they are told, where women are looked at as objects. Sex and domestic work objects; where a lot of men and even some women think that a woman’s place is in the kitchen, that a woman’s soul purpose in life is to have kids and ‘housewife’. So I definitely admire any woman who is working extra hard to break those stereotype barriers. I believe personally that every woman is strong and is naturally a hard worker and very nurturing but there are definitely some who work much harder than others so as to have a story to tell. To be able to make a name out of themselves and to be able to inspire other women to join them and climb the ladder to success. I believe that we women are just as able-bodied as the men are and I believe we are all beautiful in our skin. We shouldn’t be afraid to follow our dreams because of how it might look or make us seem and we shouldn’t look up to the media or our society to tell us ‘how to look’. I believe we should all support each other because all women are strong, we should aim at encouraging each other and helping each other use our strengths to achieve our dreams and aspirations. So as we celebrate this day just remember your worth dear ladies and know that you are strong. Celebrate yourselves today,tomorrow and everyday after that. And dear men please remember to celebrate the ladies for what they are; be it your wife, your sister or just a good friend. At that I’d like to wish you all a lovely women’s day and remind you that you are beautiful no matter what anyone else tells you 😊😊.

It’s that time of the year

It’s that time of the year again for the cliche resolutions and posts about how the year has been or anticipations for the next year. So I figured why not hop on the band wagon and talk a bit about my year and what I’m hoping for in the next year. I’ve never really been one to do resolutions because as we all know there’s probably only a small percentage of people in the world that actually put in effort and eventually achieve their resolutions. Although once in a while I do think about particular things that I’m hellbent on achieving in a coming year and make it a point to see that I achieve it so once in a while I do have resolutions I guess.

Well I’ll start by saying this year has definitely been an interesting one for me both in a negative and a positive aspect. For starters I finally started a blog after much procrastination thanks to a slight nudge from my Godmother(Thank you by the way). I also started university after sitting at home for a full year and so far I’m liking it, (Lord knows I was tired of sitting at home with nothing to do but party every night). I also had my fair share of traveling this year both in and out of Uganda but the biggest highlight was my summer in North America which I spent with my immediate family that I hadn’t seen in 1 or 2 years which was honestly really great. On the other hand I’ve dealt with some serious negativity this year. I’ve had a number of people anonymously post things on random pages about me on social media(particularly instagram) talking about how I take the crown for ugliness blah blah. And another anonymous person who went to some pretty serious lengths to try and put me down. Unfortunately for them I’m not easily put down and because I have such great friends I honestly didn’t even have the time or space to be bothered by it for even a second. But I must say it did show me who my true friends are at that moment and actually to whoever it is out there that did that, it made me much stronger and slightly more “aware of my beauty” thank you very much. Beauty does lie in the eye of the beholder so joke’s on you sucker! I’ve also raised a few business ideas and I was given a job offer a while ago so you’ll definitely be hearing more on that soon enough.

All in all.. as strange and interesting as this year has been I’m looking forward to another year ahead and ready to achieve so much more regardless of what comes my way and I’m hoping to discover myself some more and hopefully get to travel a bit more. I think I might actually have a resolution, or just a wish for the coming year(whatever it is); I’m hoping to get a much bigger exposure and bigger following for my blog and also to blog a lot more often than I have been and most importantly to get better at this because there is always room for improvement in everything that you do. Practice makes perfect 🙂

I hope you all had a great Christmas and an even better year and are looking forward to yet another one like I am. Please share your resolutions and how this year has been for you. And I wish you all a very prosperous and fruitful new year- Hater Free 😉

Lots of love,

Missy Marlie 🙂

 

 

Living in two worlds

I’ve been back in the motherland for about a month now but I’m not completely here. Have you ever felt like you’re in two places at one go? Cause that’s exactly how I feel. My body is here and part of my heart but I also left several little morsels of my heart back home in Canada(Yes Canada is home too). The saying goes ‘home is where the heart is’ no? So I have two homes because my heart is in two different places. Since I last wrote, I’ve settled down back home, re-acquainted myself with the systems and lifestyles that I had left behind and false forgotten, and most importantly I started school 🙂 Yeah! I finally did! But I will talk about that another time(I think I’ve said that a couple of times and then never talk about what I said i would) (I’m not usually a promise-breaker, don’t think of me that way. I just get really busy I guess). Anyway back to my point. Today I have a short poem I wrote about this life I’m living in between two worlds;

Standing in the middle of a rock and a hard place

Somewhere in between sweet love and a warm embrace

My heart’s over here but back there I left my face

Isn’t home supposed to be your most comfortable space?

I don’t know how I’m supposed to live like this

Living the best of both worlds can be both pain and bliss

No matter where I am there’s something to miss

Someone to long for, or someone’s sweet kiss

Could I just live in the middle and have both the worlds merge

Then I could be the ruler and they could all call me serge

I wonder,

Would it all work out or would problems emerge

I’ll just sprinkle some on everyone, call it my happiness splurge

In some ways I guess this could be for the best

My home here in Africa, and one more out West

Maybe, my love and friendship is being put to the test

Well in that case I don’t know, in the middle I’ve found my rest

Marlie 🙂

Growing up

I’ve been a little nostalgic and reminiscent of my childhood lately. Thinking about the days when I had not a worry or care in the world and no responsibilities. Well I probably did then too, they just weren’t as serious as the worries I have now or responsibilities i have now. My major worries as a child probably were not having enough playtime or missing an episode of my favourite TV show and I didn’t have any responsibilities bigger than finding my way back to my mother after I’d played enough in the backyard or in a playground somewhere. *Sigh* Those really were the days. I didn’t have much to live for(or so I thought) besides my toys, cousins, and awesome TV shows. That was what life revolved around 15 years ago for me. And yet now here I am with so many responsibilities and dreams and worries and expectations and my life has probably only just begun. It’s interesting how one day your main concerns are having all the toys in the world and the next day you’re thinking about how to invest your first pay cheque. Like there is no warning at all for this life thing, you just get thrown into it all at once, no insight, no practice, nothing. You’re just sort of expected to wake up one day and figure it out. Not too long ago some of the things I worried about the most were spending quality time with my friends, having a good time and being “dressed to kill”. And now all too suddenly I feel like my priorities have changed. It’s like I literally woke up one morning and said to myself “who cares about going out?”. I mean I’d still love to spend some good quality time with those dear to me and I definitely always want to dress well but they are no longer my top most priority. I’m starting my first proper paying job in a few days and I must say I’m excited but nervous at the same time. Now the Marlie, a year ago would have been thinking of all the clothes she can buy with that wage she’ll be earning but now here I am thinking of how best I could invest the money I’ll be earning so i can watch it grow. I still do want to buy clothes and hang out with friends, but it’s no longer at the top of my priority list. See the funny thing about life is we sort of create one for ourselves. Based on the decisions and choices we make. Based on what our plans for the future are and our dreams and most importantly, based on how we work towards achieving the things we desire the most. If you sit back and expect everything to be handed to you on a silver platter, at some point people will get tired of trying hard for you when you won’t even make an effort. If you have big dreams but you only want to work within your comfort zone you might not ever get to live your dreams. But the one thing I know is that if you have a dream and you work hard to achieve that dream and never give up, no matter how hard it seems, one day your dreams will come true. I guess what I’m trying to say is you have to do things that most people wouldn’t to live a life that most people won’t. I want to be one of those people with big dreams that works tirelessly until my dream comes true. And one of those that remembers and appreciates everyone that walked the journey with me.

I would say maturity is when you think of how to build your money rather than how to spend it. In the end the time will come when you can spend it as you like, but we all have to start from somewhere. I think I am now past the phase where I go out and spend loads of money I don’t have on things that won’t last. Invest your time well. Invest your money well and one day time and money will be the least of your worries. I hope that this been an eye opener for all the young people reading this as this realisation has been for me. And to all the people that are a little over youth, you still have time to achieve your dreams. Like Lupita Nyong’o said “no matter where you’re from your dreams are valid.” You just have to ask yourself how much you want it and don’t stop until it’s done. So from now on, every decision you make and every single step you make just remember, your life is in your hands, your future belongs to you 🙂

       

Trust

Trust! It’s an amazing thing isn’t it? A very valuable and undoubtedly important trait, but we can’t quite get it everywhere, that’s a shame! I know for me, trust is a very important basis of friendship and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one. But you see, trust is more than just being able to keep a secret. It’s more than me knowing I can tell a friend who I’m crushing on and trusting that they won’t tell their neighbour, more than me telling someone my personal issues and trusting that they’ll advise me right and not bring it up to anyone else. Trust is a much wider concept which most people seem to overlook. Trust is also about me telling you to jump and you trusting that I will catch you. It’s not just an emotional thing, it’s physical as well and it can be practical too. I want to talk about it from a more practical point of view today. I guess we could call this post a sequel to my previous one on my experience in Canada so far; Part of a series of my journey here and how I’m finding life. So yeah, back to trust. It’s amazing, here in Canada how a lot of the systems are literally run on a basis of trust. There’s no supervision, no looking out whatsoever, nothing. Just trust and that’s the end of that. For example all the petrol stations(or gas stations as they call them here) are all self service. Pretty simple and easy system; drive in, put the amount of fuel you want into your car, leave your money or pay with debit(whatever best suits you) and be on your way. The newspaper boxes; they sort of just trust you to take one newspaper and leave your money behind. Sometimes stores have clearance sales and they’ll put the sale items in a basket outside unsupervised accompanied with a jar to put the money in and everyone is trusted to take only and only what they pay for. Even as I write this, I feel like I’m writing the thesis for an experiment that is being carried out for a period of time. A system they are planning to adopt but are still running a practice round on. Amazingly, I am not. What I’m writing about is real. These are real events in real countries set up by real people. And it’s truly a great thing that this is able to happen so honestly. Although who knows, maybe it was an experiment before it was a real thing, but clearly it worked out well. When I learnt about all these systems it was quite astounding I must say. Like how could you possibly trust a stranger enough to put the fate of your business(well somewhat) in their hands? Because all this really is business, and they are trusting all these strangers to keep it alive. Astonishing. The reason I was quite struck by all this though is because I’m almost 100% certain that back home (Uganda) systems such as these would definitely not last longer than a day if at all they were ever implemented. There is no way you are going to trust a Ugandan to pay solely for the amount of fuel they’ve taken, let alone pay for it at all if they get to put in the fuel without having to pay first. Or to Pick up one newspaper instead of two for the price of one. No way. Of course there are a few innocent and honest Ugandans(like myself I believe 🙂 ) that probably would do all these things the right way and take only what they have paid for but I think a larger percent of the population would not. The only way a self-service system like that would work was if it was operated with a machine perhaps, where the money had to be automatically put into a system before you could access a particular good or service. Or if there was always at least one person at close watch to make sure that everyone was doing it the right way and not turning it into a free service or good. There’s probably a few dishonest buggers over here too or maybe there were a few when the systems first started but hey, right now it seems to be running smooth and everyone clearly gives what their due.

It’s just pretty amazing though how differently things work in different areas or in different parts of the world. And I probably would have never known or never understood it well enough if I hadn’t experienced this first hand. There’s probably systems in Uganda that could only work out there and would not be able to work in other parts of the world(like the lack of self service systems) but hey, the world is lovely in it’s wonders. I think it’s such a wonderful thing to know and to be able to experience life from different angles and different points of view. And when this journey is over and I have to go back to my lovely dishonest, rowdy Ugandans I hope that I can go back with a few of these great traits to take back with me. So far we’ve only discussed the friendliness and the honesty. Let’s see what else I can pick up along the way.

Cultural Diversity

As I write today’s post I am sitting in a living room in London Ontario, miles away from home and yet still at home. I haven’t been here a week and yet I already feel like a part of the community. As the plane touched down on to Canadian soil i felt this warmness in my heart; a feeling of joy, excitement and anticipation all at once. I had not seen my family over here in about two years and although I’d see pictures of them often and sent messages almost daily nothing beats physical communication. Some part of me was thinking about the friends and family I left back home in Uganda and thinking about how undeniably different life would be here but generally it was happiness flowing through my anxious veins. As I got out of the aircraft and finally arrived at the immigration stands I realised right away how different this land was. All the people behind the stands were quite friendly and seemed more than happy to help. And it’s pretty much the same attitude all around the town, wherever you go. Everyone is friendly, polite and many people are very  effortlessly conversant too which is something different from what I’m used to. Walking along the streets a few people will pass on a quick smile as they pass you by, some will even stop and say a quick hello before they continue. In the beginning, though I must say it was a little strange it almost felt fake even or like some sort of trap. Back home people generally don’t have the time for that. No one will stop and smile at you in the streets or ask genuinely how your day is going behind a counter.It actually takes quite some effort to start a conversation with a waiter or a secretary or to get a genuine smile out of a janitor(usually this involves giving them a generous tip) and usually the people that do make this effort have experienced different cultures and have been to places like this where it’s kind of a norm to be polite and friendly. In fact a lot of the times people will be shouting after you in the streets or ogling loudly as you walk by making your life pretty uncomfortable or turning your evening walk into a ‘walk of shame’. And people behind counters most times ask you how you are as a formality but will rarely ever even wait to hear your answer. I walked into a cafe yesterday and as I stood on the side waiting for my order to be handed to me a janitor was trying to clean next to where i was standing and politely said “don’t mind me” as she went about her business. It prompted me to take a few steps back to which she responded “no no, it’s okay, I’m just passing through real quick. You can stay where you are, it’s no bother.” I cannot say enough how shocked I was when the lovely lady said that. In Uganda the janitor would have probably sneered at me or slightly pushed me out of the way without the slightest eye contact or gentility. Then again I thought about it and sort of understood it from her point of view. I mean back home there are particular jobs that are looked at as doable and with high praise and there are others that are completely shunned and looked down upon for example janitors. So people with ‘white collar’ jobs usually feel better than those with ‘blue collar’ jobs and those ‘blue collar’ workers in turn feel a lot more under-privileged than the ‘white collar’ workers. While over here no one has any of these perceptions of other people. It is all looked at generally as having a job and no matter what that job is or what it entails no one is going to look down upon or think differently of you. Don’t get me wrong Ugandans aren’t all rude and impolite and there’s definitely loads of great things about it that are incomparable to here but that is just one of the distinct changes or variances in attitude that I noticed and probably the most dominant.

Isn’t it just amazing though, how different things are in different parts of the world? I can definitely say that I was hit with ‘culture shock’ as they call it, when I first came (probably still am). But it’s also a great experience to be to exposed to different cultures like this and to get to blend in with different types of people. One day I hope that I can travel the world so that I can be able to experience even more cultures and learn different ways of life and different values.  

Random thoughts

Have you ever wondered how certain things came to be? Don’t you sit there some times and think..hmm I wonder how this happened or why this is the way that it is. I know I have. We often engross ourselves thinking about the complexities of life and yet there’s simple unanswered questions we often pretermit. I know I do. Let’s look at a couple of those;

1. Who came up with the first road structure? Like who sat down and said “okay let’s straighten the ground and make it purely concrete and draw lines down the middle”? Why are there so many junctions and roundabouts and all these swerves in the road. Who thought of doing all that? Was the car invented first or a proper road structure?

2. What race were Adam and Eve, cause if you think about it why are there so many different races? If they were black shouldn’t we all be black. If they were white then shouldn’t we be too? If one of them was white and one was black why aren’t we all mixed race then? Did they have navel? And we couldn’t have evolved from monkeys, like one morning you wake up with a straight back and no tail with perfect understanding and perfect speech. And wouldn’t  that mean that only half of us evolved cause monkeys still exist?

3. I know this question has been asked all the time and you’re probably tired of hearing it but erm what came first the chicken or the egg? It couldn’t have been the egg coz then who laid it and if it was the chicken how did it just appear? Maybe they both appeared at the same time. The chicken and the egg.

4. When you die, do you still see what happens here on earth, around all the people you love? Do you know what they’re up to and where they’re going? I know we say ‘looking down on us’ but are you really? Like we’ll probably just be lounging in heaven enjoying all the finer things in the after life (or unhopefully boiling in hell wishing you’d spent your life differently).

5. Who invented the first language? Why are there so many? Like can’t we all just speak one language and get on with it. After the first language was invented, who invented the next one and the next, or were they all created together? Who sat down and thought of coming up with grammar and pronunciation, who decided that ‘choir’ should be pronounced ‘kwa-ya’ instead of ‘cho-yir’? And why do we all have different accents?

6. Who invented Mathematics and why for crying out loud? Who sat down and said we should have a numbers system and you must calculate them a certain way to yield different results. And all these calculative methods; adding, subtracting, dividing and the rest. Don’t even get me started on the person who thought of algebra, like why would you mix Language with Maths? Or maybe it was the same person.

7. Which brings me to school. Who came up with that idea? Who sat down and decided to build an institution that would teach people formal education and there would be different levels finally ending with higher education. Who came up with the first syllabus or the first subject?!

8. Why do some books have blank pages at the very end? Is it just to fill up space, did the author forget what they were meant to fill in there and accidentally send it to the publisher or is it for the readers to write their notes on the novel? Or maybe it they were meant as a picture gallery and the pictures failed to print. Who really knows! It could just be ‘book writing etiquette’.

9.  Who was the first person to milk a cow? Who looked at it and thought “I wonder what will happen if I press or pull at those dingly things underneath the animal. How did it feel for the first cow? How did it feel for the first person that did it?

10. Do blind people see their dreams? Do they even dream? Maybe they just hear voices in their head as they sleep but they can’t really see anything. Or maybe that’s the only time they get to see things. Can blind people be dyslexic as they read Braille?

I’ve got a lot more unanswered questions but I’ll stop here for now. I’ll leave the other rest of them for another day.

Do you have any random unanswered thoughts or questions? You can share some of yours too.